3. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. (perfect for vegans). Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. We cant always get what we want now, can we? I repeat I am plural! If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. But Ive also had better. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. 2. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. Spiritually? [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. (Explained). Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Could be better, though. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. I have been going through GOT in my work life. 32. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. "Yeah, you're three years late. Whats with all these questions? Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. It could always have been worse. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. 18. Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to 18. 87. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. At minding my own business? Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Congratulations, sir. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Totally fine! Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Im in a relationship with myself. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Unlikely, but worth a shot. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Then they throw dirt in your face. 10. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. 52. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. a fate worse than death." 48. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? 3. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. He sold it to me on his deathbed. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. The answer is simple. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. 75. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. The only thing offending me right now is your face. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Is it your job to spread ignorance? 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy However, I dont recall anything about morons. Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. This one is funny when you havent said anything. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. 12. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! More like give me a sign that. Thank you, it made my day. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Still Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. 58. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Oh, what a long list. But it can be funny. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Im always there when I need me. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. 16. Take Your Time. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. I really thought you already knew. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Is that a scar on your face? There are nosy people everywhere! 7. A real low-life. It can be good to just say it how it is. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns Are you Jamaican? 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Your email address will not be published. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Checklists & Reminders! 10. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. 59. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" How impressive! Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. *licks lips*. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Then you die. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. 1. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. 15. 1. 15. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. 1. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? You just live. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. via: Pexels / George Pak. My bad, its just your mouth. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! You might just find one. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive How much do you charge to deliver an STD? "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". 90. (Use a sexy tone). My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. 88. 35 Best Replies To "I Miss You" (Cute & Friendly) - Grammarhow Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Everything is always better on payday right!? What's your sign? I will leave that up to your imagination. Have you been thinking? Not so much. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. 13. Still, the ghosters ghost on. 13. Hope you're well". Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. 100. Is everything stable at your end? Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Sorry, life. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Yup, I dont share it. Not bad. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. This one is a bit long. What to Say When Someone Calls You Cute? - Beezzly 97. 17. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. But, they will grow up into a dog. 9. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. 6. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Are you going to marry me? She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. (Say it like he or. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. 10. Just look what happened there! I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? 84. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. I just woke up like that one day. Were already married, remember?! You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. I just adore my own company. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Dont let your mind wander. You a cop? In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. I always yawn when Im interested. You want to make them laugh, not yell. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. I love you. Dave Barry (author). I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. It's Okay. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Life is up to something. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. I'm overqualified! Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. You have an old soul. 56. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. 92. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com 20 Hilarious Things Actually Said in Court Best Life Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Alive Jokes. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Canva. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Who knows, they might just do it. I learned my lesson. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. 64. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 9.